Miranda Parker Photography » Blog

Miss J

“Gah I’ve been thinking about so much! Not trying to get all sappy on you but seriously…I told you before that I grew up with a step-mom beating it into my brain that i would never be thin. Telling me I’m big boned and I will remain that way. This caused an eating disorder that I am still vulnerable to to this day. I worked really hard for my wedding day and felt so confident in myself! Two months after our wedding day I found out I was pregnant…and that was the beginning of 4 kids under the age of 5. When our second son was 5 months old I found out I was pregnant again, and wasn’t able to work out at all because my body hadn’t fully recovered from the previous pregnancy and I kept going into early labor. There came the weight! I nursed every kid for as long as I could and put motherhood over my own goals. A year ago I decided to make a change in my lifestyle. I had no energy, stomach aches every night and was overweight and depressed. I have worked very hard but all of those thoughts from my childhood crept there way back into my mind and overtook my life. Like every part of my life was controlled by this lack of self confidence…in my role as a mom, a wife, a friend, a daughter a sister…literally everything. I couldn’t understand why my husband loved to look at me or why he would call me beautiful. Miranda…I walked into my session so nervous my knee caps were shaking. I kept thinking “Why am I here??” “What is my husband going to do with these?” “If people in my life knew I did this, I would be so looked down on.” And it keeps going. Then I walked out of my session with you and doubts crept in like crazy! “Am I going to hate myself more after I see the gallery?” “Is there going to be too much to edit?” ect. etc.

When the gallery was delivered…my husband sat behind me as I opened it (because I was too chicken to do it alone)… and i was speechless. I looked through the gallery and I looked back at my husband and he was smiling so big. I can’t even describe it…and I cried. Because for the first time I saw what he was seeing all along! Is this cheesy?! I don’t mean for it to be but it’s the truth! I feel like for the first time in a long time I am free of that self-doubt! It motivated me to keep going in my lifestyle but it gave me a confidence I can’t even explain…I literally do not have words to describe my feelings. I know you love what you do and now I can absolutely see why. You’re amazing at it! I would never have trusted anyone else to do this. I can’t wait to get them in an album and have that to look at in those times of self-doubt. So happy I did it and can’t stop telling others about my experience!”

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